Throughout our lives, we surround ourselves with people, experiences, and things that make us happy. But is this truly where we find our happiness? In times of sadness, like relationship issues or job loss, we consult self-help sites and find consolation in those with similar stories and experiences. Or we buy ourselves things to make us “happy.” We turn to our news feed on Facebook to see smiling families, happy children bouncing balloons, friends getting new cars, and love stories that seem to be everlasting. But is this representative of real life, or is this what people want us to see? After our own break-up or divorce, these love stories seem to run our emotions through the ringer: sadness—or even anger—for what we lost or maybe never had, with either fear or a dose of hope for the future.

When we are happy, we immediately post our stories and then call friends and family to share our news. And when we are sad, we look outside of ourselves for comfort. But if you reach a point of being content with who you are and what you have become, your feelings don’t need to come from an external source. And they don’t need to be validated by other people or by meaningless things.

Grand Master Lu often says, “If happy Buddha sits inside, there will be no seats for sadness.” If your heart is happy and joyful, there will be no room inside for sadness. So, instead of looking outside of yourself, look within. That is where the answer will always be found. Find what makes YOU happy. Find what brings YOU joy. Infuse that happiness into all parts of your life. Smile at those around you and feel your heart swell as you smile from within.

If you practice this form of healthy living, you won’t focus so much on the sadness of the event. Instead, you might gain some perspective and catch the opportunity to grow and change—from within.